You.

Could you give a guy some rest?

Honestly I'm not asking for much. You've been on my mind for quite some time now. Distracting me from work, haunting my dreams, creeping into my thoughts while I hang out with friends, invading those quiet moments of the day when I'm trying to enjoy a good thousand-mile stare...

All I'm asking for is some respite. Could I have a few hours a week to think about other things, like life? You're derailing my plots to overtake the world! I don't remember giving you permission to set up shop inside my brain. It started simply, a few stray thoughts about you here and there, but now I find it difficult to stray my thoughts from you. It's pretty alarming.

Next thing I know, you'll disappear into a void and never be seen again. Or perhaps you'll become permanently unavailable. What will I do then? I haven't known you for long, but you've become a big deal to me. It was a few years ago that we met through some mutual friends. I didn't know what to think of you at first, because you were unlike all others. But as I got to know you, I began to value my time with you and I desired more. Most of the time, I can't be with you, so I'm stuck with just thinking about you.

Then again, it's not TOO terrible thinking about you. It's sorta like having an excellent song stuck in my head on a continuous loop. Well, more like the intro to the best possible song. A springy, peppy, full-of-life-and-humor intro. I'd like to hear the rest of the song, to see what kind of conclusion it will bring. Does a minor key come swooping in to dump drama all over the place and make a melodramatic disaster of this song? Or perhaps the lyrics and melodies blend into a wondrous sonnet that fosters strong and lasting communication?

Everywhere I go, I'm reminded of you. People talk about you often. Even my mom likes you!

Let's presume that you and I are in for the long haul. Will this be a mutually-beneficial relationship? Will our continued interaction produce lovely results?

Life could go on without you, I suppose, but life is a lot nicer with you. I'm having trouble making up my mind. You're helpful, sweet, and humorous, but you're also clogging up my mind every free second and I can already tell you're just champing at the bit to remind me that Valentine's Day is just around the corner.

Enough already, Facebook. If you don't quit distracting me every moment of the day, I'll have to do the unthinkable: use you less often. I'd threaten to delete you, but who knows what kind of ripple effect that would cause? There's probably some kind of horrible withdrawal people go through when they decide to talk to people face-to-face instead of through the aloof comfort of the internet. Unfortunately, during real conversations, I can't delete and retype my responses to make myself look wittier, or take my time to craft a snappy reply. Also, I use you a lot to organize my schedule and remind me of important upcoming events. Your usefulness outweighs your bothersome attributes, so you're off the hook for now.