Thursday, May 29, 2014

So Long, Mr. Beard

A few months ago, I was given the opportunity to own a pagona. A man was in need of more living room space, and he had a terrarium loaded with sand, heat lamps, special accessories, and an adult pagona.

Of course everyone knows what a pagona is, right? No? Perhaps you know them by their non-scientific classification: the bearded dragon. 

Still no? Well neither did I, but Google told me it was a fairly unique lizard that made a good house pet, so I ran over to the man's house and snatched him up. 

Friday, May 23, 2014

Free Doughnuts Might be Treacherous

"Hey Shawn, do you want a doughnut?"

Surely a voice from heaven just announced a blessing into my ear canals! I quickly identified the source of the heavenly blessing: Mom's voice coming through the office intercom. I checked my pulse. It was still pulsing, therefore I was in the mood for a doughnut. I quickly replied to the affirmative and ran into the house, located a mere 50 feet from the shop.

Mom handed me a hot, glazed doughnut and a glass of cold milk. I chowed into the doughnut hungrily.

"I made doughnuts! Accidentally." Sheryl exclaimed.

I gave my sister Sheryl a curious glance.

"Eat it quick, because it's tasty now but it's probably going to harden." Mom added.

I shifted my increasing curiosity from Sheryl to Mom.

"Dad was hiding these doughnuts from us." Mom said.

"Yeah but we found them." added Sheryl triumphantly. "He hid them in the oven."

"What?" I replied. It came out like "Whaff?" due to the mouthful of doughnut I was chewing.


Friday, May 16, 2014


Pick my favorite Bible verse?! "Pick your favorite verse and tag others blah blah..." I'm not very good at picking favorites. I like many things. Sure I like some things more than other things, but often my favorite book (currently "This Present Darkness") or movie (currently "Wall-E") or artist (currently "House of Heroes") or song (currently "House of God Forever") or food (currently French Fries, but I could possibly substitute them for anything grilled or smoked or slathered in wheat) is dependent on the season or my mood. Goodness, I sound like my sister. Lately tagging friends to do an activity has been all the rage on Facebook. It started with the Polar Plunge, which was ostensibly for raising money for cancer treatment and PLEASE HELP THE BABIES but was really more to see all of your friends get completely drenched in icy water and chuckle from the comfort of your Cozy Computer Chair. (I'm not sure where you find yourself at this moment, but I have stationed a lay-z-boy in front of my computer.) This newest trend has been far more spiritual and far less wet: "Share your favorite Bible verse." My brother Shane nominated me, sharing some fantastic verses of his own. It was only fair, I suppose, since I nominated Shane for the Polar Plunge.

It'll be a piece of cake! They said.