http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/488537774.html
where some feeble man pleas for a roommate that meets his outlandish requests. I fear that the only person to meet those requests would be a deaf/mute with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or someone who has been deceased for at least two years. The man seems nice enough, and I can certainly relate to his comment that "...I've realized that life is much better when it's shared with people..."
Because of this very article, as well as many other indicators, I've come to the realization how tremendously blessed I am in the roommate department. So for this post, I'm just gonna brag up my roommates.
Shane Schwartz is my childhood friend, my accountability partner, and my adviser in fashion and appearance. He's the blunt friend that asks me what I've been up to and how I've been doing spiritually. He sang for many years with me in a male quartet that holds some of my fondest memories. He has a dry humor that is irreplaceable, and he's always up for a game, a midnight conversation, a work project, or a "let's go second-hand shopping right now" trip.
If I made a list of "Ideal Roommate Qualities", a good deal of the list would be modeled after Shane. He's orderly and clean. He cooks fantastic meals and shares them. He has an excellent taste in board games, knives, and cheese. He sleeps through hurricanes, nuclear holocausts, and noisy parties that I hold at odd hours of the night. He does many thankless chores without complaint and doesn't make a big show of all the cleaning he does. With the help of his wonderful, massive German Shepherds, Shane has tamed the woods around our trailer to suit our bachelorous needs. We have clean campfire spots. We have a not-quite-finished 400-square-foot dock. Once upon a time Shane grabbed a machete and now we have a 1/4-mile trail hacked through dense growth alongside the river that leads to a secluded sandy beach.
I sometimes grumble when I see Shane sleeping in and/or deciding not to do roofing for the day, but when I get back from work I'll inevitably find a project Shane has thought up, designed, built, and completed that day, like the one time I left for 8 hours and returned to find an A-frame shelter he built using spare wood and some leftover shingles. He obviously didn't get the memo that he was supposed to be lazy all day so I could at least feel smug.
Shane loves trying new things and being random. Once, he emptied an entire clip of .22 ammo at a squirrel without hitting it. When I asked him about that (for he is an excellent shot), he replied that he just wanted to spice up the squirrel's life. He once got his hair braided while in Honduras. He named his incredible mustache "Cedrick". He frequently goes to theater try-outs and has been in several community theater plays.
Shane likes breakfast, but he doesn't really prefer cold cereal. He enjoys hot meals but like every other human in the entire world except for mothers, he doesn't like making hot meals in the morning. Instead of resigning himself to pop-tarts or Eggo waffles, Shane will occasionally throw together an entire crock pot of delicious food to cook overnight. I have experienced many cool things in my short life, but the smell of bacon-wrapped chicken breasts with potatoes wafting their sultry scent through the trailer in the wee hours of the morning is one of the coolest.
Victor Gingerich is my awesome man-friend from high school. I've known Victor and his identical twin Benjamin for longer than that, but I didn't become close friends with him until high school, where we shared many a note slipped to each other behind the watchful eyes of our Superintendent. Victor is energy. There is just not much he can't do when he sets his mind to it. Victor works with heavy construction machinery with his family business and often puts that expertise to good use around our place, grading and smoothing embankments, removing tree stumps...all things that I'm extremely grateful for. Victor has a passion for truth, justice, and seeing hearts changed by Jesus Christ. He keeps his room spotless and always has his bed made, much to my shame since my room looks like the beaches of Normandy after D-Day.
Many times Shane and I will arrive home with groceries we've selected and purchased without consulting Victor, yet he gladly pitches in with the cost. Victor brings home and shares exotic fruits, like pomegranates, raspberries and carambola. Victor is honest, trustworthy, and hard-working. I don't see Victor very much at home, due to his schedule being packed with work, league basketball, helping the youth group out at his church, and diligently attending Intercession, which is one of those special prayer times that churches organize because they're excellent ideas, but many are sparsely attended. VICTOR GOES TO THOSE. He normally heads to bed earlier than Shane and I, but on occasion Victor will sacrifice sleep to have awesome chats with me about life, leadership, following God, sexual temptation, the state of our nation, and a billion other topics that seem SO important that they just can't be discussed later, they have to be discussed at 1am. Victor speaks life into a group of young men in our area, including my little brother Shane (not to be confused with my roommate Shane). He does activities with them, feeds them snacks, prays with them, counsels them, and leads them by example, showing those impressionable teens how a gentleman should behave.
Mostly, I'm thankful that both Shane and Victor tolerate me. Victor is passionate about our nation's government and still loves me even though I chose not to vote this Presidential election. Shane allows me to use him as the brunt of jokes when we have guests over. Shane's also extremely patient when I painstakingly explain to EVERY GUEST how his parents stole my parents' name for me, 14 days before my birth. Both of them sleep peacefully through all the racket I make late at night, which is something I'm incapable of doing in return. (I feel pretty guilty about being such a light sleeper, and since I stay up late most evenings, I am more than willing to accommodate when my roommates plan late evenings.)
With their humor, wit, and fun-loving attitudes, Shane and Victor breathe life into my little corner of the world.
Both of my roommates are single, despite being the most eligible bachelors in all of Washington County, if not the state of Iowa. Please don't do anything to change that. If Shane and Victor were to get all hitched to some super nice lady (one lady each, not the same lady), I would be deprived of some first-rate roommates.
One of these days, I'll get around to figuring out ways to show my appreciation for them. I have no idea what object would possibly convey the depth of my gratitude. Perhaps I'll put my coins in the coin jar toward buying them solid-gold SUV's with the words "I TOTALLY APPRECIATE YOU, MAN" emblazoned on the back.
You guys are the best. I'm grateful to call you my roommates, and lucky to call you my friends.
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